Be Relentless

I've failed many times.

12 years ago. 7 years ago. 3 years ago…

Those are the big ones. And countless others are sprinkled between.

But 3 key turning points taught me what it means to persist.
What it means to not just survive, but to be resilient.

Which one do you wanna hear about?

The time I quit the path I'd built my entire life towards?
Only to be ostracized and tortured by all my peers…

The time that was so paralyzing, I could not overcome it…
Until I had to choose between losing my life, or my ego?

Or the time when it all looked so purposeless,
I was one action away from giving it all up?

Let's go with the most recent one.

You see, it doesn't matter how experienced you are.
When you get caught in the haze of uncertainty…
It's quite difficult to regain your footing.

Especially when you've built a history of quitting.

Early. Too early… far away from the ultimate end.

You know New Year's Resolutions, yeah? Not exactly a fan…
Studies show that 80% of them fail by mid-February.
So failure and giving up is perfectly normal.

But each time you quit, it reinforces your story of failure:
"I'm not someone who finishes things."

And your desired identity erodes.

It makes sense why.

Change is hard. It's painful. And the status quo resists.

You start with a great idea. You get a burst of energy.
And you're fueled with motivation, until…
You're left stranded alone, hopeless.

Let's call it "The Valley of Disappointment."

Because that's where all the hopes and dreams go on vacation.

Sometimes forever. Heh. (it's not funny)

It's a horrible place to be lost in.

But when you finally realize that you can keep going…
When you have the courage to hike into the woods…
When you've built the muscle to carry your dreams…

Sporadic action becomes automatic.
Effortless and energizing.

Failures become valuable lessons.
Not insurmountable setbacks.

And 'I tried' becomes 'I did'.

So here's what happened…

It's early 2022. I had just made it through a wave of mass hysteria
and global psychological terror. Imposed upon us. By force.

I got through it successfully. I was quite happy, actually.
Didn't get sick. Created more, even. I was winning.

But then I did get sick. And my brain was taken over…
All I could think was "Oh, when is it going to end?"

All my muscles were in pain. Sweating all night.
Groaning all day. Had to force-feed.
It was only suffering…

But that wasn't the end of it.

Two weeks later I thought I was home clear.
The symptoms went away. I could act again…
But I had lost 30% of my body weight.
It wasn't the first time, actually…
And that was the problem.

I felt defeated. I had lost. Again. My body. My mind…

And I let that story take over my life.

Then, all I had built up proceeded to wither around me, little by little…
My friends. My work. My vision of the future.

For the next year it was only wallowing in misery.
Too tired to do anything. Too tired to even think.

There were some attempts at clawing back past successes, I guess…
Half-assed in hindsight. But it got me some momentum.
Until finally I healed enough to regain some agency.

I was fortunate to meet some good people around this time.
One of them turned out to be pretty great, actually.
Offered me a job despite my awful state.

I took it.

And it was objectively easy, with a great team that accepted the situation…
I still failed. Even early on. Self-sabotaging thoughts held me back.
Moments of exhaustion and weakness denied consistency.

But I stuck with it. I got through the bumps. I had help.
If it was just me, alone again, I may have given up…
I was close. Very close. But I had to persist.

And this next year was a year of victory.

I rebuilt my muscle. I relearned my skills. I paid off my debt.

And I stopped making excuses.

Now, 2025 is already as good as 2015, if not better…

That's when I overcame my first massive hurdle, by the way.
I was rewarded with wealth, wisdom, and my 'dream job'…
but that's a story for another time.

This year… I'm doing this: Writing.
But, more importantly, I'm taking massive action.

And I'm here to teach you what it takes to do the same.

Because I know what it's like to… not be able to.
While I acted deliberately and purposefully at times in the past…
The truth is, I've always been an actionfaker. Doing just enough to get by.

If you're a 'gifted millennial' who had an easy time…
Easily staying ahead of everyone around you…
You can probably relate.

My early years were just easy win after easy win.
Minimum effort, still top of the class.
Outpacing everyone…

That's why they called me "Speed".

So when I finally faced the reality of adulthood.

I was not prepared. I was shocked.

My whole worldview fell apart.

My parents, my teachers, my peers…

They had all failed me.

And I was left alone.

No matter how much I tried I simply did not have the understanding.
My identity and personality did not allow for real success.
The dreams of easy laurels were good enough.

Even after discarding my ego and reconstructing myself.

Deep down I was still an actionfaker.

Hubris and an infatuation with ease held me back.

Inaction was my favorite companion.

You see, instead of doing the right thing,
I was avoiding what needed to be done.

Instead of building true value,
I recycled what I already had.

Instead of creating.
I consumed.

And the more I swam around this whirlpool of comfort…
The easier it got. The more comfortable it got.
And it set me up for failure after failure.

Honestly, even at the end of last year I failed yet again.
I'm still not over it completely. I'm still learning.

That's why it's called Actionsmith-ing.

But you can learn with me, and hopefully avoid some of the traps I've fallen into.

So let me tell you what I've learned.

If you want to turn failure into victory, you must not be defeated.

Sounds like a tautology, right?

But here's the thing…

If you've been following along and learned Why Actionsmithing?
You may have already noticed some of these things…
But let me repeat them to be extra clear.

This is important.

Pillar II of Actionsmithing is 'Aim.'

The intention of it, along with the following installment The Cost of Inaction
Is to give you the context you may need to find your purpose.
To kindle the flames of passion that light up your forge.

Pillar III of Actionsmithing is 'Persist'

The point of that, along with this installment of the story…
Is to bellow the flames and grow them into a wildfire.
Then put that fire under your ass so you can go.

Channel all that energy into purposeful action…
And that's how you craft grittiness.
That's how you finally win.

Grit is an alloy of passion and persistence.

And I'll help you forge weld your grit so hard...
You can craft the finest hammer with it.

So I hope, by now, you have some idea of where you're going.
If not, I urge you to go back and read from the beginning, with this context in mind.

Your vision doesn't need to be clear. It doesn't need to be vivid.
It just needs to be something you are intent on doing.
But you need to be able to commit to it.

Because what comes next is building unbreakable discipline.
And If you're not ready to carry the load of your actions.
If your purpose is not burning hot enough…

Failure is inevitable.

And I want you to be victorious, this time, once and for all.

So let me tell you exactly what you need to be doing.
To burn so bright you dispel all shadow of doubt.

Starting with this:

Whew. How do you feel?

Beautiful. Now let’s take a short rest and then get back to work.

Your story isn't over, is it?

The road ahead is long, but very rewarding.
So we'll do more forging next week.

But if you can't wait a week…

Check these out for further learning: